Remarks by President Biden while sitting on his toilet


Lost Somewhere in the White House

3:41 P.M. EDT


The vaccines work. Even as cases go up due to the highly transmissionable [sic] — transmissible disease, the Delta variant, I have become concerned that a much overlooked contributor to the spread of COVID 19 is Air Conditioning.    This has been a Pandemic of the Air Conditioned.

Of the 600 thousand who have died of COVID 19 in America, 99% did so in air conditioned hospitals.  There is an undeniable correlation between Air Conditioning and the spread of COVID 19.

I am calling for a Anti-Air Conditioning mandate and I am calling on industry partners to help us make this happen.  You can begin by turning off the Air Conditioning in Hospitals, Clinics, Shopping Malls, Grocery Stores.  Schools are an Air Conditioned environment ripe to spread COVID 19,  turn it off!  They can fan their masks to keep cool!

Utility companies can help by monitoring your customer's power usage and turning off the power to those you suspect as using their air conditioning at home.

We should not overlook the role air conditioning in vehicles plays.  I am ordering the FAA to direct air carriers to discontinue the use of Air Conditioning on all flights and terminals.  Busses and Trains will do likewise.  I am calling on automotive shops nation-wide to sabotage air conditioning on personal vehicles while performing other maintenance, to help the common citizen comply with this effort.

Together we can beat the scourge of COVID 19 and this Pandemic of the Air Conditioned.  Do your part, or we'll do it for you.

I would like to thank my fellow Fascists of America for their efforts.  While I cannot censor people, or force them to get the vaccine, or wear worthless masks, together by merging political and corporate power, we have formed a seamless entity that will ensure a strong future for the Reich.. I mean America.. ya know.. the thing..  C'mon man.


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